Read Next →
It also destroys the potential for your friend and ex to create a good If you find out that your friend is dating your ex, you might feel the urge to dish the dirt on.
It's never OK to date your friend's ex – and this is why Not only is that his best friend, but he massively betrayed him. Dating their ex undermines the latter two , bringing a sense of betrayal I personally wouldn't ever forgive.
And by "once involved," I mean someone we went out with once, or hooked up with a couple times, or even dated for several years. We all have our pride, a little something called ego, and a perhaps unrealistic wistfulness about being absolutely the best, smartest, hottest, most exciting thing that has happened to every single one of our exes. So when we see the ex solidly land with someone who was within arm's reach of our own circle all along, it quite simply sucks.
It especially sucks when said person is a friend. It rattles our sense of history, of significance, and calls into question matters of trust and priorities. Let me acknowledge, formally, that this must be difficult for you. And you appear to be taking a high, gracious road. Some would flip the table and demand a gal pal drop the dude and stay loyal to the lady friends. You're attempting to be supportive. It's commendable. It doesn't have to mean you put on a placid game face that masks your discomfort and confusion.
In fact, start there. Follow up with your friend and let her know that now that you've had time to process, you want her to know that you care about her, but that this is strange for you, and likely will be difficult moving forward.
But you fundamentally care about her happiness and want to preserve your friendship because that, absolutely, is important to you. With respect and communication, your friendship may weather this. Or it may not. And certainly your friend knew that risk when she embarked down this path. Wayne says: I'm sure you're feeling some shell shock from this relationship revelation. But before you go running back and telling her how sick you will feel at the thought of seeing them together and that your friendship with both of them is pretty much over forever because how dare they, why don't you catch your breath and start processing it all a bit.
Now, instead of guessing how you will feel at seeing them and making big declarations to your ex and your friend, why don't you just leave them alone and let the feelings come to you organically? You know you're going to see them eventually, whether at a party or by happenstance. But overthinking, obsessing and getting yourself all anxious before an encounter even occurs isn't healthy for you.
And it might not even be reality.
Who knows, you might be happy to see them happy together. Seventy-seven percent of those surveyed said they'd seek approval first if they wanted to date a friend or family member's ex.
So odds are good that you'll get a chance to speak up before it happens. It also turns out that adherence to the rules varies by generation.
Is It Ever Okay To Date Your Best Friend's Ex?
For the rest of the survey, head over to Plenty of Fish's survey results. Want to get the hottest sex positions, the wildest confessions, and the steamiest secrets right to your inbox? Sign up for our sex newsletter ASAP.