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Me: Shoot. He: There's something I really like to do … in bed. Story continues below advertisement He: I like to be spanked. Me: Look, I never even spanked my kids, and I don't plan on starting now. What message was I putting out there? I had a male friend scrutinize my profile.

My head-and-shoulders photo was by no means provocative, and I was seated looking up to the camera. My buddy said that men get turned on by women in the submissive position. He also flagged my use of the word "intimacy" in my write-up. To me, it means emotional closeness, shared interests, great conversation, and yes, maybe even sex if the stars align.

My buddy suggested that for some guys, intimacy means "this woman really wants to get laid.

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There were flat conversations with other men that went nowhere. And as a writer-editor, the lack of attention to grammar and spelling was a serious turn-off.

And then a man in a polyamorous relationship wrote me to extol the virtues of a lifestyle where love has no boundaries. He assured me that sex wasn't the main focus, but rather deep relationships. His wife was on-board, and he kindly gave me her name and phone number. Story continues below advertisement Next. Day six. A message from a guy who photoshopped a picture of himself with a flying saucer hovering above his head. He: Wanna get jiggy?

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Me: What happened to the requisite first coffee date? He: Not into coffee. I'm a restless monkey … What do you say?

Making yourself an inviting online profile and messaging people regularly will increase your chances of finding the perfect hookup. Getting someone to agree on going on a date with you was probably the hardest part, so it will be smooth sailing from now on. You should base what you are going to wear off of where you are going on your date. If you are going to a fancy restaurant, then dress accordingly, but more often than not, your first online date will be quite casual.

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